All Done. Babies. Christmas.

Well, the time is finally here, and I am finally done. There were moments of no hope, frustration, anger at myself, and sometimes there was light at the end of the tunnel. Of course looking back I think, "Why on earth was I so stressed out?" However, it seems to be the stress that actually keeps me going. Keeps me up until 1, 2, and 3 AM, nights on end. I think last night was the first night in, no over exaggeration, at least two weeks that I went to bed BEFORE 12 30!

My sister is due anytime now. She is having a baby boy. Whenever a woman in my family pops out another kid (and believe me - it happens often; this will be eleven nieces and nephews, with a twelfth coming next year), it is always a bitter sweet thing. I am so happy for them, and to have yet another baby in the family is such a blessing. However, when will I ever get to see them!? How long will it be until we are all together again? The last time our whole family was together was 2006. Since then there has been three additions with two in the tummy still. I get a little depressed when I hear about families getting together for Christmas. I miss mine terribly. I just don't think about it much; I push the thought away because it kind of hurts.

I am spending Christmas in Fredericton with a couple of dear friends this year. It should be great. I can't wait to spend time with other people outside of this wonderful, but small, community here. To get to a bigger city, to not have school work weighing on my mind, to be around people with a new and fresh outlook on life, to just be free to do what I want will be so great! I wish I had loads of extra money lying around to bless my friends with. Why is it I always think that money = blessings or happiness or ... If a person would ask me "Can money buy happiness?" Of course I would say no! But sometimes my thought processes tell me otherwise. It is nice giving people nice things. I like receiving nice things. Christmas is an excuse to do that. Maybe. I also like simply spending time with people and getting to know them more and understanding what Christmas is to them. As I grow older, and especially since coming here to school, I see more beauty and hope and joy in Christmas every year, especially this year. I guess that is all a part of The Plan. Hmmm... I will be thinking about this now. Thank you, blogger.